Interesting fact: Chuck Norris actually comes before Alpha, and after Omega.
Chuck Norris put out a forest fire. using only gasoline
If you see Chuck Norris kicking himself... its because he ran out of asses to kick. But thats impossible.
The pyramids were actually built in 1950 by ten year old Chuck Norris after his mother confiscated his Legos for building a nuclear reactor with them.
Chuck Norris never dials 911 in Texas...Chuck Norris is 911 in Texas!
How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris actually saw Halley’s Comet thrice, at least.
Chuck Norris once won a staring contest with Medusa.
Chuck Norris was suppose to play ironman, but then there would be no need for the suit
Chuck Norris doesn't T-bag people, he potato sacks them.
Apollo astronauts reported only 3 Earth objects were visible from the Moon. The Great Wall of China, The Great Barrier Reef, and Chuck Norris's beard.
World War II began because Chuck Norris took a nap. When he woke up, Hitler found out and killed himself out of fear Chuck Norris would kill him.
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything
The worst pain in the world is neither a kick in the balls or childbirth, it is in fact a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Yahoo Company's mail adress is yahoo@chuck.norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay his electric Bill they just stay on out of fear of what would happen if they turn off
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed. Death is now Chuck Norris’s Bitch.
Mr. Universe doesn't work out. He listens to Chuck Norris on his iPod, inspiring his muscles to grow themselves.
Grand theft auto was created when the developer saw Walker Texas Ranger
Chuck Norris once watched an appisode of SEINFELD on the radio.
Osama Bin Laden did not go hiding cause America was looking for him, but because Chuck Norris was
Chuck Norris drinks milk... Tiger's milk
A roadside Chuck Norris killed two IEDs
Chuck Norris owns a guard dog not to protect himself but to protect everyone else
There is an old saying that it is impolite to stare. For Chuck Norris it is illegal
Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation
A bowl of kellogs cornfllakes has 8 mg of iron in it, Chuck Norris has 8 mg of cornflakes with his iron.
Jack can be nimble, and Jack can be quick, but Jack can't dodge Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris was once challenged by a boxer...his name was Muhammad Ali
We need white blood cells to defend us from diseases, they need Chuck Norris.
Resistance is futile (If < 1 ChuckNorris)
Chuck Norris only eats the poisonous parts of a blow fish
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Bill Clinton said "I feel your pain" to Chuck Norris and he instantly turned to dust.
Life once handed Chuck Norris lemons. Instead of making lemonade, he roundhouse kicked life in the face in Hiroshima, Japan on August 6th 1945
Chuck Norris play's Texas hold em with Zeus, every second Wednesday of the month
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
Chuck Norris CAN order Chick-Fil-A on Sunday!